The Spontaneous Pirate
'The Spontaneous Pirate '''is the twenty-fifth and penultimate episode of Total Drama SBFW. It aired January 11, 2020, and was written by Purple133. Transcript (Episode opens with Joey waking up) ' ' Joey: What a lovely day, it’s the final three! I can’t believe that I won and got into the final three. ' ' Dan: Yeah man. I have no clue how or why I’m still here, but I am. ' ' Image: I should have been gone a very long time ago so I don’t know what the hell is going on. ' ' Joey: Well we all made it! Yay us! ' ' Image: I mean how is it the three of us? Like Dan you’ve been a vote magnet, Joey’s the last greenie left, and I just suck. ' ' Dan: No clue. But like Joey said, we did it, so let’s celebrate! ' ' (P.A turns on) ' ' Alex: Hey guys, challenge time! ' ' Joey: Oh, okay. ' ' (Cut to the final challenge) ' ' Joey: So what’s this challenge? ' ' Alex: It’s a doozy. So for your final challenge, the three of you will have a write off. Much like the team version you guys did much earlier this season. However this write off isn’t just your ordinary write off, as after you’re all done, you’ll have to trade papers and act out the entire script. The person who can act the best will get a guaranteed spot in the finale. Then they’ll have to choose which of the other two people is going to be the final person taken out of this game. ' ' Joey: When do we begin? ' ' Waluigi: WAH! Let me hand out pens and papers and then you can start. ' ' (Waluigi hands out pens and paper) ' ' Waluigi: Begin. ' ' (Dan glances at Joey’s paper) ' ' Dan: Oh no I already failed. ' ' Joey: No copying my work! I’ll sue! I’LL SUE! ' ' Dan: Okay bro, just calm down. ' ' Image: He doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to. ' ' Dan: Haha just kidding get more pissed so Image and I can vote you out later. ' ' Joey: Huh? Oh no! Can’t have that, I’m too close to the end! ' ' Waluigi: WAH! STOP TALKING! ' ' Image: sorry ' ' (The there write their scripts quickly) ' ' Alex: Time’s up! Now you will trade and pass your scripts to somebody else. ' ' Joey: Here you go Dan ' ' Dan: Here you go Image. ' ' Image: Here you go Joey. ' ' Joey: Why did we all address each other oddly like that? ' ' Waluigi: WAH! Fil- ' ' Alex: Hey, hey, let’s just move on and start reading the scripts. ' ' Image: Oh no, I got Dan’s. ' ' Dan: Hey I made sure to only include five sex scenes! ' ' Image: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THOSE? ' ' Dan: Use your imagination! ' ' Image: *scoff* ' ' Joey: Alright I’m trying to read through this. Image, what the hell am I reading? ' ' Image: Being completely honest, I have no idea. ' ' Joey: Ah, okay. ' ' Waluigi: WAH! You guys only get five minutes to figure out what you’re gonna do so read faster! ' ' Dan: This is a fifteen page script! You want me to not only read and memorize it in five minutes but then also figure out how to act it out? ' ' Alex: Yeah, that’s pretty much exactly what he’s telling you. ' ' Dan: Not fair! ' ' Waluigi: Well you have four minutes and thirty seconds left now boy, so I’d get going. ' ' Dan: I hate you Waluigi. Like I actually hate you. ' ' Waluigi: Thanks, you’re FUELING MY POWER. ' ' Dan: What? Waluigi: WAH! Focus! ' ' (Dan tries to read the script but falls asleep somehow; Joey is pretending to be a pirate while reading from his script) ' ' Joey: Argh I am a spontaneous pirate delivered unto you through a space time rift. ' ' Image: Get it, because he’s spontaneous? ' ' Dan: You guys are gonna lose. ' ' (Dan looks at his script and notices he has to be a woman the entire time) ' ' Dan: WHAT?! JOEY?! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?! ' ' Joey: Well I was going to give mine to Image but uh you got it instead. ' ' Dan: This is really unfortunate. ' ' Waluigi: Three more minutes! ' ' Dan: Come on! Can this get any worse? Alex: Hey guys the winner gets a platter of nachos. ' ' Dan: Oh OF course. The reward is my favorite snack. ' ' Joey: Mine too. I’m even more determined to make this work. ' ' Image: Yeah, I give up. ' ' Alex: Well guys, get acting! ' ' Image: Who’s first? ' ' Waluigi: WAH! You because you asked! ' ' Image: Okay. ' ' (Image sits down and gives up) ' ' Waluigi: Did you just give up? ' ' Image: Yeah, guess I did. Didn’t really have a chance against Dan and Joey in this one, sorry. ' ' Waluigi: Alright then Joey, you’re up. ' ' Joey: Okay, here goes nothing. Just saying, I have to play five different parts. DA DA DA, I AM SPONTANEOUS PIRATE! MAY I TAKE ORDER SIR? Nyet. BUT SIR I NEED THE MONEY FOR MY FAMILY. *Get it yourself*. HEY WHO ARE YOU? Nyet. *shut up please you stupid communist fuck*. EXCUSE ME WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY FATHER STALIN? *i wasn’t talking to you poor pirate* “Hey hey, Jack’s here!” *Jack go away, nobody likes you* YEAH JACK I AGREE YOU KIND OF SUCK. “That actually hurts” “Linda?” Nyet ' ' Dan: Excuse me what the hell- ' ' Joey: NYET? STOP SAYING NYET AND SAY SOMETHING ELSE YOU IDIOT! Nyet. “Hey what’s with the commie?” “Sure!” Nyet. SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! *haha nyet* “Hey not funny didn’t laugh” GUYS I AM GOING TO ROB THIS PLACE DRY. NO I AM A SPONTANEOUS PIRATE DAMMIT! Nyet. “What do you mean nyet?” ' ' (Joey falls to the floor crying while also screaming at himself in five different voices) ' ' Image: Get it? ' ' Waluigi: No. Joey are you done? ' ' Joey: (nods head and cries more) yeah. ' ' Alex: Then Dan, you’re up. ' ' Dan: Alright bear with me here but this script simply says “watch paint dry”. ' ' Joey: Haha! ' ' Waluigi: Screwing over the competition? Joey, I’m proud of you. ' ' Joey: Sorry Dan, but I really want to win. ' ' Dan: I am going to fuck you up kid. ' ' Joey: Try me. ' ' (Joey sticks his tongue out at Dan) ' ' Dan: GASP! Joey: Now get to watching that paint dry. ' ' (Dan throws a paint bucket against a wall and sits down) ' ' Dan: Joey can you at least like bring me to the end over Image? She obviously doesn’t care. ' ' Joey: Hey you’re supposed to be quiet. ' ' (Dan literally watches paint dry for five hours) ' ' Waluigi: Alright after that pathetic display of a challenge, it’s time for the results. JOEY WINS! ' ' Alex: He’s safe into the finale! ' ' Waluigi: WAH! He now has a 50% chance of winning 100 grand. ' ' Alex: That means that either Dan or Image just completed their final day in this game. ' ' (Cut to the elimination ceremony) Alex: Here’s how this works. Since Joey has safety and Dan and Image can only vote for each other, Joey will cast a vote against Dan or Image. The person he casts his vote against will be the final person eliminated this season and won’t have a shot at winning that sweet cash money. ' ' Joey: Okay. ' ' (Joey goes to vote) ' ' Joey: This isn’t anything personal but I think that I can beat the other person in the final challenge. ' ' (Cut back to the ceremony) ' ' Alex: Alright. Let me pass out the sticky notes one last time. Joey, here’s your sticky note because you’re safe. ' ' Joey: Cool! ' ' Alex: And the person joining him in the end is… DAN! ' ' Dan: Wait actually? ' ' Image: WHAT?! ' ' Alex: Image, you get a cozy spot in the lounge of losers. ' ''' Image: WHY DAN?! HE WILL FREAKING DESTROY YOU JOEY YOU IDIOT! Waluigi: WAH! Time to go bye bye! (Waluigi takes an extremely enraged Image to the lounge of losers. The camera fades to black) Category:Total Drama SBFW Category:Episodes Category:Episode Transcripts Category:Transcripts Category:2020 Category:2020 Episodes Category:2020 Transcripts Category:Episodes written by Purple133